Search Me!: 2010

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Why 3,6 and 12 packs

A man walks into a drug store with his 8 year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?"

To which the man matter-of -factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son… Men use them to have safe sex."

"Oh, I see," replied the boy pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school." He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package?"

The Dad replies, "Those are for high school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday and one for Sunday."

"Cool, says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?"

"Those are for college men." the Dad answers, "Two for Friday, Two for Saturday and Two for Sunday."

"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks with bright eyes, picking up the 12 pack.

With a sigh, the Dad replied, "Those are for married men, one for January, one for February, one for March…"

Monday, October 25, 2010

A young man met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the night with her for $500. So they did. Before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but that he would have his secretary write a check and mail it to her, calling the payment "RENT FOR APARTMENT". On the way to his office he regretted what he had promised, deciding that the whole event was not worth the price. So, he had his secretary send a check for $250 and enclosed the following note:

Dear Madam, Enclosed find check in the amount of $250 for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon because when I rented the apartment I was under the impression that:

1) it had never been occupied;

2) that there was plenty of heat;

3) that it was small enough to make me cozy and feel at home. Last night, however, I found it had been previously occupied, that there was no heat, and it was entirely too large.

Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check for $250 with the following note: Dear Sir, First of all, I cannot understand how you expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely. As for the heat, there is heat if you know how to turn it on. Regarding the space, the apartment is, indeed, of regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture to fill it, please don't blame the landlady!

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Funny Arts [1]

http://laksearch.blogspot.com

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Sleep Box

Friday, July 9, 2010

Best Women to Marry

Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their
honeymoons, where they were all taken care of by Amdon the Bellboy.
The first man married a nurse. Amdon showed them to their room and
thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. Nurses are known to be hot
to trot".

The second man married a telephone operator. Amdon showed them to
their room and thought to himself,"Wow, he's a lucky one. Telephone
operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top button…".

The third man married a school teacher. Amdon showed them to their room and
thought to himself "poor guy, she's pretty but teachers are just too frigid".

The next morning Amdon reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected
only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other
two would call much later in the day.

6:00 a.m.
———
The phone rings it's the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The nurse's
husband opened the door and Amdon stepped back in shock. The man's pajamas
were still pressed and his hair nicely combed. Amdon asked, "What happened
sir? You married a nurse.

The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard
last night was her nagging voice saying " you're not sanitary, you're
not sanitary".

Amdon went back down to the main desk to wait for the next call.

6:30 a.m.
——–
The telephone operator's husband calls for breakfast. Amdon brings it as
fast as possible hoping for the best. The man opens the door and Amdon
stepped back in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed
and pressed. Amdon asks," What happened? Telephone operators are suppose
to be as sexy as their voices."

The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator.
All I heard last night was her a nasal voice saying, "your three minutes
are up, your three minutes are up."

Amdon went back down to the desk, just knowing the teachers husband will
be calling any minute.

4:30 p.m.
——–
The teacher's husband called for breakfast. Amdon can't believe it but
quickly took the breakfast to the couples room. The man opened the door
and Amdon took a step back in shock. He wore only his boxers and his hair
was a mess. He had scratch marks on his chest, arms and legs. Amdon
fearing the worst asked " What happened to you? Did you have a fight?"

The man smiles and happily replies, "No. Son, when you marry be sure
to marry a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth
voice saying "We are going to do this over and over, until we get it
right."

====================================================

More to Come

http://laksearch.blogspot.com/

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Seats Distribution

Preferential votes Colombo

UPFA(10)
1.Wimal Weeravansa                 - 280,672
2. Duminda Silva                      - 146,336
3. Patali Champika Ranawaka     - 120,333
4. Dinesh Gunawardene          - 116,860
5. Bandula Gunawardene        -   64,654
6. Thilanga Sumathipala          -   60,848
7. Susil Premajayantha           -   54,702
8. A.H.M. Fowzie                     -    51,641
9. Jeewan Kumaratung           -   51,080
10. Gamini Lokuge                  -   49,750

UNP(7)
1. Ranil Wickramasingha             - 230,957
2. Ravi Karunanayaka                  - 70,328
3. Mohan Lal Greru                       - 68,008
4. Bernadine Rose Senanayaka - 66,357
5. Wijedasa Rajapaksa                - 60,030
6. Sujeewa Senasinghe               - 52,559
7. Wishwa Prabha Ganeshan     - 42,851

DNA(2)
1. (Retired) Gen. Sarath Fonseka - 98,456
2. Sunil Hadunhetti - 78126

Preferential votes KALUTARA

UPFA(7)
1. Kumara Welgama
2. Mahinda Samarasingha
3. Nirmala Kotalawala
4. Rohitha Abewardana
5. Rajitha Senarathna
6.Rejinold Kooray
7. Vidura Wickramanayaka

UNP (2)
1. Palitha Theverapperuma
2. Ajith G Perera

DNA(1)
1. Arjuna Ranathunga

Preferential votes GAMPAHA

UPFA (12)
1 Basil Rajapaksa - 425861
2. Sudarshani Pranandupulle - 186140
3. Mervin Silva - 151085
4. Ven Athuraliye Rathna - 112010
5. Filix Perera - 69938
6. Ruvan Ranathunga - 66488
7. Lasantha Alagiyavanna - 65939
8. Sarana Gunawardana - 61150
9. Dulip Wijesekara - 51469
10. Vasantha Senanayaka - 51124
11.Pandu Bandaranayaka - 49613
12.Sarath Kumara Gunarathna - 46040

UNP(5)
1. Ruwan Wijewardena - 88850
2. Upeksha Swarnamalee - 81350
3. Karu Jayasuriya- 60310
4. Jayalath Jayawardana - 58302
5. John Amarathunga - 52331

DNA(1)
1. Vijitha Herath- 50967

Preferential votes MATARA

UPFA (6)
Sanath Jayasuriya - 74,352
Mahinda Yapa - 70,439
Lakshman Yapa Abeywardena - 67,510
Chandrasiri Gajadeera - 51,042
Hemalal Gunasekara - 51,013
Wije Dahanayaka - 44,463

UNP (2)
Buddhika Pathirana - 62,499
Mangala Pinsiri Samaraweera - 59,836

Preferential votes BADULLA

UPFA (6)
Nimal Siripala De Silva - 141990
Dilan Perera - 69610
Chamika Buddadasa - 42856
Ujith Sanjeeva Lokubandara - 38124
Rohana Pushpakumara - 36080
Thenuka Widanagamage - 34742

UNP (2)
Harin Fernandio - 49073
Lakshman Seneviratne - 31560

Preferential votes Monaragala

UPFA(4)
Jagath Pushpakumara - 67903
Gamaini Vijith Wijithamuni Soysa - 54515
Sumedha Jayasena - 45837
Vijitha Berugoda - 43001

UNP(1)
Ranjith Maddumabandara -15,105

Preferential votes GALLE

UPFA (7)
1. Nishantha Muthuhettigama - 125777
2. Ramesh Pathirana - 95313
3. Gunarathna Weerakon - 68629
4. Chandima Veerakkodi - 67231
5. Piyasena Gamage - 67033
6. Sajin Vas Gunawardana - 53989
7. Mohan Silva - 49456

UNP (2)
1. Gayantha Karunathilaka - 49945
2. Manusha Nanayakkara - 49690

DNA(1)
1. Ajith Kumara - 15872

Preferential votes POLONNARUWA

UPFA(4)
Maithripala Sirisena 90,118
Roshan Ranathunga 56,223
Gamlath Siripala 53,973
Chandrasiri Suriyarachchi 44,356

UNP(1)
Earl Gunasekara 26,925

Preferential votes MATALE

UPFA (4)
1. Lakshman Vasantha Perera - 65077
2. Janaka Bandara Thennakon - 47133
3. Nandimithra Ekanayaka - 35754
4. Rohana Kumara Dissanayaka - 32803

UNP (1)
1. Vasantha Aluvihare - 31529

Preferential votes RATNAPURA

UPFA (7)
1. John Senevirathna - 125816
2. Pavithra Vanniaracchi - 110220
3. Premalal Jayasekara - 73175
4. Janaka Chakkubura - 70473
5. Vasudeva Nanayakkara - 56493
6. Ranjith De Soysa - 47147
7. Sunny Rohana - 37902

UNP (3)
1. Thalatha Athukorala - 64592
2. Ranjan Ramanauyaka - 59318
3. Dunesh Gankanda - 34219

Preferential votes ANURADAPURA

UPFA (7)
1. S M Chandrasena - 112644
2. Duminda Dissanayaka - 101384
3. Tissa Karaliyadda - 55017
4. Ashoka Semasinghe - 46115
5. Sarath Chandrasiri Muthukumarana - 44615
6. Ekanayaka Vilfrad Bandara - 40634
7. Veerakumara Dissanayaka - 27102

UNP (2)
1. Chandrani Bandara - 29884
2. P Harison - 24675

Preferential votes KURUNAGALA

UPFA (10)
1. Johnston Fernando     - 136943
2. T B Ekanayaka - 112420
3. Anura Priyadarshana Yapa    - 98880
4. H M Shantha Bandara - 86353
5. S B Navinna          - 74976
6. Jayarathna Herath - 64645
7. Salinda Dissanayaka - 56842
8. Neranjan Wickramasingha - 54572
9. Indika Bandaranayaka - 48665
10 Tharanath Basnayaka - 46079

UNP (5)
1. Dayasiri Jayasekara - 132949
2. Akila Viraj Kariyavasam - 66476
3. Gamini Jayawickrama Perera - 44131
4. Ashoka Ranjan Abesinghe - 32290
5. Nimal Senerath Wijesingha - 30687

Preferential votes KEGALLE

UPFA (7)
1. Ranjith Siyabalapitiya      - 141935
2. Atauda Senevirathna        - 67719
3. Kanaka Herath               - 63136
4. Y G Pathmasiri               - 61582
5. Lalith Dissanayaka          - 48224
6. Jagath Balasooriya           - 47294
7. H R Mithrapala                - 37745

UNP (2)
1. Kabir Hassim - 48344
2. Champika Premadasa - 40914

Preferential votes HAMBANTHOTA

UPFA (5)
1. Namal Rajapaksa         - 147576
2. Mahinda Amaraweera - 105414
3. Chamal Rajapaksa       - 79648
4. Nirupama Rajapaksa    - 39025
5. V K Indika                  - 37626

UNP (2)
1. Sajith Premadasa - 74467
2. Dulip Vedaracchi - 47160

Preferential votes KANDY

KANDY
UPFA
Mahindananda Aluthgamage - 146,765
Keheliya Rambukwella – 133,060
S.B. Dissanayaka – 108,169
Lohan Ratwatte – 81,812
Erik Weerawardena – 54,195
Dilum Amunugama – 45,909
Faizer Mustafa – 44,648
Sarath Amunugama – 44,478

UNP

Abdul Cadar – 54,937
Rauf Hakeem - 54,047
Lakshman Kiriella – 53,690
M.H.M. Haleem – 46,240